the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
