when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
