I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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