WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
