Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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