508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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