I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize