he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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