and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
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