he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
