your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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