He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
NoShamevember. You game?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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