I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
