but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Vodka?
Forever.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
