Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
