Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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