I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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