id be glad to
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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