i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
