when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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