Buhtt sex?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
