I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
