I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
