We're like a lot better than the average bears
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
