dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
