one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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