Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
