I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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