i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
