Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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