i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
