so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
