clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
