Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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