apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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