my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
