I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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