So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
This is my gift to your gina
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
