im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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