Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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