omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
