The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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