Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Do vagina's smell?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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