Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
