Don't make out with my wife yet
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
