I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
