I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
