I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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