I look better un-naked...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
