Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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