Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
