Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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