Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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