So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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